Standing on My Truth

Sometimes life gives you the same lesson twice—not because the circumstances are identical, but because you are finally different enough to understand the lesson.

I’ve spent a lot of my life helping people. Sometimes I’ve helped so much that I crossed the line from supporting someone into trying to rescue them.

I’m learning the difference.

My marriage to Brian has been one of the biggest lessons in that. After nearly three decades together, separation is complicated. There is love, history, pain, beautiful memories, hard truths, and a lot of work.

But one thing I deeply respect is watching Brian choose to do his own work—to look at himself, seek support, be accountable, and face uncomfortable things instead of simply blaming circumstances.

That takes courage.

Because nobody can do another person’s work for them.

And that lesson has shown up in another part of my life, too.

Tats for Cats was this weekend, and it was honestly amazing to see so many of my rescue friends come together to pull off another incredible fundraiser for the rescue I founded.

Walking away from something I built from the ground up—and choosing to step back, choose myself, and do my own work—was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

But standing there and watching it continue to thrive was incredibly emotional.

Seeing my rescue community come together.

Seeing cats continue to be saved.

Seeing the mission continue.

It made me so incredibly happy.

There is something powerful about realizing that loving something doesn’t mean you have to carry all of it forever.

Sometimes choosing yourself doesn’t mean abandoning your purpose.

Sometimes it means trusting what you built enough to let others carry it forward.

And apparently, I needed another reminder about that.

At Tats for Cats, I also had a reading with Dr. Slider. The message I took away from that experience was pretty clear:

Stop rescuing.

Support people.

Love people.

Offer the resources.

Create the safe space.

But let them do their own work.

And honestly?

They were yelling. 😂

Because they were right.

Everyone has their own work to do.

Brian has his.

My friends have theirs.

I have mine.

And that isn’t abandonment.

That’s respect.

I’ve also learned that I don’t have to chase every misunderstanding.

People may create their own versions of me. They may tell stories I know aren’t true. They may decide I’m the villain in their story.

I can’t control that.

What I can control is who I am when nobody is watching.

I’ve made mistakes. I’ve overextended myself. I’ve carried things that were never mine to carry. I’ve tried to save people who needed the space to save themselves.

I’m working on that.

I’m learning boundaries.

I’m learning to stop carrying what isn’t mine.

I’m learning that I can love people without losing myself.

Christianity reminds me to leave vengeance behind and continue doing good.

Buddhist teachings remind me that our intentions and actions matter—and that anger doesn’t heal anger.

So I’m choosing something different.

I’m not waiting for anyone to admit I’m right.

I’m not waiting for an apology.

I’m not waiting for someone else to change before I move forward.

I’m building.

I’m healing.

I’m helping where I’m invited.

I’m stepping back where I need to.

I’m loving people without abandoning myself.

And I’m standing on my truth.

Not because everyone else has to believe it.

Because I know the work I’m doing.

The mic drop

Maybe the work isn’t figuring out who is right.

Maybe it’s figuring out what is yours.

Your healing.
Your boundaries.
Your choices.
Your responsibility.
Your next chapter.

So before you spend another ounce of energy explaining yourself, defending yourself, rescuing someone, or trying to change someone else’s story—

Pause.

Take a breath.

And ask yourself:

“What is mine to carry, and what do I need to put down?”

Then put down what isn’t yours.

Do the work that is.

Love without losing yourself.
Help without taking over.
Set boundaries without guilt.
And build a life that doesn’t require everyone else to understand it.

You don’t have to win someone else’s version of the story.

You just have to be able to stand honestly in your own.

I’m proud of what I built.

I’m grateful for the people who continue to carry it forward.

I’m grateful for the cats still being saved.

And I’m grateful that I finally understand this:

I can love deeply without carrying everything.

I can support without rescuing.

I can let go without giving up.

And I can choose myself without abandoning the things I love.

So…

What are you ready to put down?

And what are you ready to build? ❤️‍🔥🐾